Mother, May I?
by ioanhoratio
Summary: Lindsay is confronted with a mother from the past; a mother she never thought she would feel anything for but disgust. Now, as a mother herself, she is forced to see beyond her own anger and hate to consider the power of a mother's love for her child. DLL
1. Chapter 1

**Mother May I?**

**By: ioanhoratio**

**A/N: This is just something I've been kicking around for a while. I wasn't sure how to present this in a believable way, and I'm not a lawyer-though I have researched as much as I could using the internet regarding Montana state death penalty and appeals procedures. I had to make up a lot (you need to see my poetic license? Just don't judge the picture...it was a bad hair day) , but I tried to base as much as I could off of fact. For example, the Innocence Project is real and I used as much as I could off their website. Anyway, I'm not going to give anymore away, you'll just have to read to find out what all that means.**

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"Um...excuse me, Lindsay? Lindsay Monroe...uh...no, I mean Messer?" a voice called out timidly.

Lindsay spun around in surprise. She had been about to pull her three year old daughter out of her car seat, but hesitated when she heard someone call out to her. Lindsay found an older woman with short, graying black hair staring at her, the skin near her eyes deeply wrinkled and her gaze haggard, but her clothes were neat and clean, though not fashionable, more like something Lindsay's grandmother would have worn-floral print shirt, with white cotton slacks. There was something familiar about the way she looked, like someone Lindsay had once met in a dream.

Despite the woman's relatively normal appearance, Lindsay couldn't help the impulse to protectively raise a hand to her rounded stomach, or to move her body to stand between Lucy and the woman-ensuring her daughter was out of view. Lindsay had spent too many years as a CSI and as a New Yorker to assume that this stranger meant them no harm.

Frowning slightly, Lindsay warily asked, "Yes?"

The older lady's hands moved nervously up and down the cloth covering her thighs, seeming to try and wipe them clean. Her eyes held a slightly panicked look, and her lips pressed together tightly in what Lindsay could only describe as fear.

Unease filled Lindsay's body, and she mentally calculated how quickly she could close the door of the car and make her way back around to the driver's side. Her 25 week-pregnant belly made running less accomplishable, but she was no where big enough that it would keep her from being able to make a quick escape.

Lindsay's thoughts must have shown on her face, because the woman began shaking her head, and she rushed to say, "Wait, don't leave, I...uh...I'm sorry. It's just really hard to say what I need to say."

Lindsay's heart softened slightly at the desperation in the woman's voice, though her caution was still well in place. "Who are you and how do you know my name?" Lindsay demanded, mindful of her impatient toddler who would begin fussing if left in her seat for much longer.

The woman squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. She moved to step forward, but stopped abruptly when she saw Lindsay take a quick step back. Finally, the woman gave a weary sigh and answered, "My name is Justine Cadence, and I need your help to save my son's life."

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**So a short teaser, but hopefully interesting enough for you to want to read more.**

**Next chapter is done and will be posted soon. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Mother May I?**

**Part 2**

**By: ioanhoratio**

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! Thank you to **_**bluelilyrose, uscrocks, rapidtetv, afrozenheart412, Dine89, Brinchen86, and laurzz . **_**Your reviews are wonderful (I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets all giggly over pregnant Lindsay ^_^). I also appreciate those who favorited or alerted this story: **laslovesangel, CSINYBabyy, backstagespotlight, JavaJunkie4evr, nkhh923, madhatterette, and Lindsay1234.

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Danny Messer pinched the bridge of his nose as he let lose a rather large yawn. Normally he would politely cover his mouth, but since he found himself alone in the lab and was just tired enough to not really care otherwise, his body took advantage of sucking in the extra oxygen. He froze however when he heard a snort come from behind him.

His nostrils filled with a familiar cologne, and Danny just groaned. He should have known he would get caught slacking.

"Rough night Messer?" Don Flack's voice teased from behind.

Danny didn't need to turn to know that Flack's face was sporting a smirk.

"Somethin' like that," Danny merely grumbled as he quickly tried to focus the lens he was using to photograph some evidence.

"So which hot chick kept ya up late? Ya wife or ya daughter?" Don continued, completely ignoring Danny's sour tone.

Danny did choose that moment to turn from the evidence to face his friend. He raised a single eyebrow in warning and clipped, "First off, it's none of ya business and second, don't ever use the term hot chick when referring to my daughter."

Don raised his hands in surrender, though his mocking tone never changed. "A'right, I was just jokin'. Geez Mess, what's got your panties in a wad?"

Danny gave Don a lazy look and just shrugged.

Now slightly worried about his friend, Don pushed, "Everything alright Danny?"

Noting his friend's concern, Danny relented. "Yeah, jus' the usual. I go to bed late, Lucy's up early, Linds is gettin' further along with the baby, work is busy, an' there just ain't enough hours in a day, ya know?"

Don nodded in understanding, but still couldn't help jabbing, "Must be hard, havin' an adorable daugther, smokin' hot wife, a son on the way, and a well payin' job." He put his arm around Danny's shoulders and just hung his head in mock commiseration.

"Get off me," Danny griped, shoving his friend back easily. The two pals shared an easy smile and Danny remembered something. "Oh, hey, Linds wanted me to make sure you were still plannin' on comin' over on Sunday for Dinner."

"Like I would miss that," Don said, then asked, "She still makin' burgers?"

"I hope so," Danny answered, both men salivating at the thought of the delicious burgers Lindsay could create. Their thoughts were interrupted by the singing of Danny's cell phone. Tugging his phone out of his back pocket, Danny grinned. "Speakin' of, I'll ask her right now."

He put the phone to his ear and answered, "Hey babe! Ya ears musta been burnin' 'cause Don an' I were ju...Babe?"

Don's head flew up at the change in Danny's tone.

"Lindsay w'as wrong? Calm down babe...try an' calm down...What happened? Are you ok? Lucy? Please babe, ya gotta take a deep breath and talk to me," Danny pleaded, the sobs heard through the speaker frightened him, and he was desperate to do something. From where he stood, Don could hear Lucy fussing in the background.

"Lindsay," Danny tried again, "where are you?...You're driving? Pull over right now an' I'll come to you...I'm serious...well, how close is close?...Fine, just be careful. I'll see you in a minute."

Danny ended the call, and practically ran out of the lab with Don hot on his heels.

"Yo, Danny, what's goin' on man?" Don asked, catching up with his friend at the elevator.

Danny was pushing the down button over and over again, quickly and forcefully. "I don't know. Lindsay was just cryin' pretty hard an' I really couldn't make out what she was saying."

"Where we headed?" There was no question that Don was going too.

"I finally figured out that she was pulling into the parking garage," Danny told him as they entered the lift.

It seemed to Danny to take forever, but soon they were exiting into the hallway that led to the building's garage. Danny sprinted towards the doors and used his body's weight and speed to shove them out of his way. Despite the warmth of the spring day, it was cool in the enclosed cement parking lot, but Danny was numb to it all as he waited for the headlights of his wife vehicle.

The two men stood next to each other, anxious and worried.

"The fact that she came here is a good sign Danny," Don tried to comfort his friend, "If something was wrong physically then she would have headed for the hospital."

"Yeah, yeah," Danny agreed distractedly, "but this is Lindsay. She gets upset sometimes but she never cries like she was cryin' jus' now. The last time I heard her cry that hard was in Montana when she had to testify. I hope her family's a'right. Her dad hasn't been feelin' too good lately."

Neither knew what to say after that, and silence filled the space. Danny's mind raced with every dark possibility, and he felt like he was going to crawl out of his skin. He needed action.

"Where are they?" he growled with frustration. He was pulling out his cell phone to call her when he heard the sound of an approaching vehicle coming up the ramp.

"Finally," he breathed jogging over to meet the car. Lindsay, not bothering to pull into a parking spot, threw the car into park and was opening the door, exiting as quickly as her cumbersome body would allow.

She blindly reached for him, and he immediately responded by pulling her into his arms. Her body was shaking, and though her tears had changed from deep sobs to whimpering it was clear she was still quite upset. Danny wrapped his arms tightly around her, angling her body so her enlarged belly was turned to one side, but her face could be buried against his neck.

He stroked her hair, and spoke soothingly to her as he twisted his head so he could get a look into the car and ensure Lucy was alright. The toddler had her fingers stuck in her mouth, and her eyes were red and slightly swollen. She began to wail in earnest when she saw her father.

Danny made eye contact with Don over Lindsay's head and sent him a silent plea. Nodding in understanding, Don jumped into action. He made his way around the vehicle and unbuckled Lucy from her seat.

"Come'er little one," Don cooed as he pulled her out of the car. She gripped tightly to his suit's lapels and rested her snot covered face against his shoulder. Don followed Danny's example and stroked the child's hair lovingly.

Danny felt Lindsay relax against him and her shaking subside. He didn't move though. He waited until Lindsay pulled back before asking any questions, and even then only after he had carefully examined her face.

"Ya a'right?" he asked quietly, noting the track of dried tears on her cheeks.

Lindsay looked up at him, her eyes sad, but she nodded and mumbled, "Sorry."

He could see her cheeks burning red from embarrassment as she struggled to get her emotions under control.

"Can you tell m what happened?" he pressed gently.

She sagged against him, but cleared her throat to answer, "I'm not even sure. It was so unreal, Danny. _She_ seemed so unreal."

"Who?" he asked, the skin of his forehead wrinkling in confusion.

"Daniel Cadence's mother."

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**Thanks for Reading!**

**Well, I guess the next chapter we'll have to find out what happened between Lindsay and Cadence's mother. ^_^**


	3. Chapter 3

**Mother, May I?**

**Part 3**

**By: ioanhoratio**

**A/N Thank you so much for the awesome support! Dine89, bluelilyrose, pretty7, webdlfan, rapidtetv, Lindsay1234, afrozenheart412, rhymenocerous, and laurzz!**

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"_My name is Justine Cadence, and I need your help to save my son's life."_

The declaration slammed Lindsay in the chest, and she had to resist the urge to gasp. A wave of cold reality flooded over her as she realized it wasn't in a dream that Lindsay had seen the woman's face, but a nightmare. It was a face very similar to that of the man who had killed Lindsay's friends, and had nearly destroyed her own life.

"Exc...Excuse me?" she stammered through the deafening roar in her ears.

The woman looked around as if she was going to be attacked at any moment by some unseen force. She brought her intense gaze to Lindsay's face and begged, "Please, ma'am. I know you have every reason to despise me, but if you would please spare me a few minutes?"

Lindsay felt panic begin to clog her throat. The look of desperation in her eyes tore at a place in Lindsay that she had worked hard to overcome; it was the look of a mother whose heart had been ripped out.

"I can't," Lindsay breathed, she quickly turned back to the car and re-clipped the top buckle on Lucy's car seat, the latch was being stubborn.

"I get out Momma," Lucy stated, confused by her mother's actions.

"No baby," Lindsay chided lovingly.

"Yes, Mommy, I wanna muffin," Lucy reminded her mother stubbornly.

"We'll get one later, we have to go Lucy," Lindsay tried again, ignoring the woman who was hovering just out of Lucy's view.

"No!" Lucy cried, disappointment being translated to utter heartbreak in the mind of the toddler, "You pwomise me, mommy."

"Later, Lucy," Lindsay grumbled firmly, trying to stay calm.

Lucy began to wail in earnest, but finally Lindsay heard the click of the lock sliding in place, and she shut the door, muffling her daughter's cries.

"Wait, please," the woman began following Lindsay around the car, "I know you have no reason to listen, but I can't...I have to try. He's my baby. Please, I don't want to loose Danny."

The muscles in Lindsay's body tensed, and a deep sense of shock caused a pounding in her head that spread through her body. Her mind blanked of any reasonable response, and she was left with the impulse to simply run away from the woman, but she was frozen. "D-Danny?" she forced out, her voice sounding strangled, as she turned to face the woman.

"Please," the woman cried, her tears falling from the corner of her eyes when she would blink, "all I ask is a moment."

Lindsay forced air in and out of her lungs, reminder herself that she needed to keep her wits as she was hit with a wave of reality if the form of her son hiccuping beneath her skin. She stroked her belly and nodded at the woman, indicating for her to continue.

Not wasting this opportunity, the woman wiped at her tears and began, "I'm sorry for this, truly, please know this is my last resort. It's clear I don't need to tell you who I am. My son, Danny, is on death row because of your testimony."

"He's on death row because he brutally murdered four people," Lindsay snapped angrily, her emotions running the spectrum. She wasn't going to stand here and be accused by this woman. She turned to the car and slid in behind the wheel. She reached awkwardly for the door but was stopped.

"I'm sorry," the woman moved in her way, her face now pale, "I didn't mean it that way."

"Move please," Lindsay said through clenched teeth. Lucy's wailing having died off to whimpering as the toddler was baffled by the unusual behavior of her mother and this stranger.

"Please, what I meant was that what you say carries a lot of weight. I know what Danny did was wrong...

"Stop," Lindsay interrupted her, wincing when she heard the name, "Stop calling him that."

The woman stood speechless for a moment, her confusion clear. Lindsay took her hesitation as a moment of action, and pushed passed her, grabbing the door and pulling it closed, cursing the fact that she had left the window cracked due to the stifling New York heat.

Driven once again into action, the woman spoke through the window, "I'm sorry, I don't understand, but you need to listen to me please."

Lindsay had no choice but to do just that as she struggled with her shaking hands to get the key into the ignition.

"Dan...my son, what he did was terrible, but you have to understand it's my fault. I failed him. I wasn't the mother I should have been, I let terrible things happen to him. I know he needs to be punished for what he did, but please, don't let them kill my baby. If I could, I would die in his place. You could talk to them, or write them a letter, or something, asking them to consider taking him off death row..."

Lindsay couldn't handle another moment. She didn't want to hear that Daniel Cadence's life had been difficult, she didn't want to hear him called someone's baby, she didn't want to know anything about him. The key turned over, starting the engine, and she wanted to do nothing more than push the gas pedal and floor it out of there, but the reasonable side of her that reminded her of the two precious lives in her care forced her to wait since the passing traffic made it difficult to just pull away from the curb.

Seeing that her chance was quickly slipping away, Justine Cadence pulled a card out of her pocket and shoved it in the crack of the window. "If you can, please give me a chance to explain. My cell phone number's on the card. I'll be in New York for three more days, please, I am begging you one mother to another." Her voice was sad, pleading for hope.

Unable to respond to her plea, Lindsay saw an opening and pulled out, hoping the woman would just get out of the way. She couldn't focus on much so she just began to drive. Her whole body was shaking now, and almost as an after thought she reached for here seat belt. She stopped at a red light, and looked in the rear view mirror, worried for a moment that she would see the woman following her.

"Momma?" the tiny voice of her daughter called, her apprehension clear.

Lindsay felt her heart break at the fear in her daughter's eyes. Unwelcome thoughts of Lucy in trouble, desperate from her mother's help began to invade her mind. She knew no matter what her child ever did, Lindsay would do everything in her power to protect her, to love her, and care for her. Lindsay bit her lip, she didn't want anything in common with _her._

"Mommy's...mommy's here," she forced through her clogged throat, the roller coaster of emotions she'd been on for the last ten minutes left her feeling sick and disoriented.

"Mommy sad," Lucy declared, her childish sensitivity allowing her to feel her mother's pain. Her tears began anew, this time a manifestation of her concern for her mother.

That pushed Lindsay over the edge and her own tears began. Cursing the hormones racing through her body and struggling with her inability to stave her reaction, she knew there was only one person who could help her now, only one person that she need desperately to see. "Should we go see Daddy?" she sniffled.

"Yes!" Lucy bawled sadly, her voice loud, unable to control her volume due to her overwhelming emotions.

Lindsay tried to get control as her cell phone dialed Danny's.

"Hey babe! Ya ears musta been burnin' 'cause Don an' I were ju..."

At the sound of his voice, the tentative hold Lindsay had on herself snapped, and she began to sob.

"Babe?"

She was unable to answer.

"Lindsay w'as wrong? Calm down babe...try an' calm down...What happened? Are you ok? Lucy? Please babe, ya gotta take a deep breath and talk to me"

"Lindsay," Danny tried again, "where are you?"

"Dr...Driving," she finally said.

"You're driving? Pull over right now an' I'll come to you," Danny commanded.

Lindsay shook her head, then realized Danny couldn't see her. "No, I don't want to."

"I'm serious," Danny tried to interrupt.

"No, I'm close to the lab."

"Well, how close is close?"

Lindsay wasn't actually sure if what she had said was true, she only knew she was afraid to stop for fear that woman would be close behind. Glancing out the window, she realized she really was close. "I'm a block away."

"Fine," he sighed, "just be careful. I'll see you in a minute."

Feeling a bit calmer, Lindsay focused on driving safely the last block and trying to assure her upset her daughter. Relief flooded Lindsay as she pulled into the garage and saw her husband standing there, waiting for her. She put the car in park, scrambled out of the car and threw herself into his arms.

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**Thanks for reading!**

**So what will Lindsay decide to do? Is that the last we've seen of Justine Cadence? When will we get to Danny and Lindsay? Hmm...**


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